Battling Grief AND Mental Illness

I have been going through a lot and I finally expressed how I felt on my personal facebook page and snapchat last night. I lost two family members last week both of their funerals are this week. And I must say it has been very hard to cope because this is all too sudden. And this feeling I do not wish upon anyone.

And these feelings are the reason why I wrote my last post expressing how short life is. I lost my Dad 09/16/1995. I just lost my aunt September 20, 2018, and now a patient I have grown very close to September 21, 2018. I ended up going to the funeral yesterday and my whole world fell apart. I was a complete wreck. I almost collapsed while being there and the drive home was the hardest thing to do. I had the worst migraine while being at the funeral home, I developed tremors, became extremely diaphoretic and woozy to the point the family had to sit me down and give me water. I loved that woman so much and didn’t expect this so soon. And my aunt, I didn’t see that coming either.

For a person who suffers from mental illness or mental disorders, times like this becomes very hard to deal and cope. It is easy for people to tell you to remain strong for your kids. But what about me? I, too need help as well. And I am aware of it. I am not ashamed that I have a few mental disorders/illness. I take medication for it. I have informed my immediate loved ones and my job just in case something happens. Now let’s are clear, there is a variety of diagnosis that falls under the mental illness/disorder category. The most common ones are Depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder. I was initially diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and depression in 2017 and by 2018 my anxiety and depression have gotten so bad I became clinically diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, major depressive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

If I do not disclose this information no one would even know this about me. And that just goes to show you that you can not tell just by looking at someone. Just because a person may suffer from a mental illness or disorder does not mean they are crazy. We all deal with things differently. Some are better at handling stressful situations and some aren’t. There are no right or wrong way. We were all born different. People are quick to pass judgment on things they do not understand. But this is where you have to do research if you do not understand or can’t relate. I chose to be an open book when I decided to create this journey because I know that there are people who sometimes need to be able to relate for them to have hope.

I chose to call this blog Journey 2 Fabulosity because I am evolving and improving every day and I know if I can create my own journey then what is stopping you?

-Lisa

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